Saying Goodbye to Marley, Part One

"How do you know when it is time......????"  That is the question that haunts every pet owner when it is nearing the end.  Although it drove me CRAZY when people said this - "You will just know" - having now gone through it, it is just so very true.  We said goodbye to our beloved and loyal family dog, Marley, on Monday evening, December 2, 2013.  It was the hardest decision and saddest day of my life.  Really and truly.  I sobbed long, deep cries as I felt his soul leave this earth.  As I held him and he passed, I wailed.  I completely and outwardly grieved. With no shame of emotion.  With no thought of anything but of light gone.  And, now, as I type, I cry continual tears of grief.  Will I ever stop crying for him? Will the grief transform?  Worse still, is the doubt and the guilt.  Did I make the right decision?  Could I have done more? Did he suffer?  Did he know what I was doing to him?  Did I betray him?  Did he know and feel our love up until the very end?  The questions still haunt me days later.  I am profoundly lonely.  Marley was my best friend - always by my side.  And I mean ALWAYS.  He came in the car with me everywhere I went.  He laid by my side as I read books, watched movies, and slept.  He NEVER left my side for a single minute throughout each of my pregnancies - literally following me from room to room.  I remember occasionally getting annoyed with him ("Gosh, Marley - give me some room!") - thinking of that makes me sob again.  I have never loved an animal the way that I loved that dog.  He crept into my soul and took up a very large room for rent.  His eyes would lock with mine and we would have meaningful, unspoken conversations of love.  He trusted me completely and that felt satisfying and rewarding.  I miss him terribly.  And I wonder if I made the right decision.  Constantly wonder.  I look up to the sky and I think, "Can you see me?" "Can you feel me?"  "Do you feel my continued love for you?"  "Do you know I miss you?"  "Are you safe?"  "Are you happy?"  That was always my job - to love you - to care for you  - to keep you safe and happy.  I miss my job.  Who is loving and caring for you now?  I miss you, Marley.  It is profound - the loss I feel.  Words escape me as I feel, again, the grief swell up and engulf me.  Perhaps it is best to leave the words to others for now.  An excerpt from one of my favorite poems:  "He was my North, my South, my East and West,  My working week and my Sunday rest.  My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought love would last forever.  I was wrong." (W. H. Auden)

I love you, Marley.  And I miss you, Marley.  May you be at peace.  Safe.  Happy.  Loved.

Soups On!

Now that the winter weather has arrived, I am searching for the best soups in Chicago.  I decided to start with the best ramen, a Japanese noodle soup.  After a quick internet search, and being limited by places that are open for lunch, I set my sights on "Oiistar."  It is located in Bucktown and owned by a Korean chef.  The reviews seemed somewhat mixed but on the whole pretty good - what stands out for me is that the ramen dishes are playful though still hearty.  Here is what I ordered:

The vegetarian ramen



A pork shoulder hot bun and a side of kimchi







What I liked about the dishes:  (1) the ramen came with an abundance of vegetables, the most notable was the portabella mushrooms; (2) the tofu was well cooked; (3) the bun was perfectly steamed; (4) the sauce on the bun was tasty; and (5) the kimchi was divine - some of the best I've had.

What I did not like about the dishes:  (1) the soup was WAY too greasy -you could see the oil pooling on the top as you ate - yuck; (2) the vegetables were too crunchy (except for the lettuce which was a surprisingly nice touch); (3) the broth was underwhelming in taste and spice - very forgettable; (4) the pork belly was too fatty (some might say that it is supposed to be but I have had and liked good pork belly (thank you Avec!) and this was not good pork belly; (5) everything made you want to drink a TON of water - not a good sign of sodium intake and it makes a girl feel bloated - a no no; (6) too expensive; and finally and most importantly (7) the noodles stuck together - you expect that as the dish is served but as you chop and scoop away at it, the noodles should gracefully separate.

So, my opinion overall, skip it.  I'll keep looking for the best ramen and be sure to pass along the info!  Any suggestions are appreciated!  I promise an unbiased, white girl palate.  Until next time, SAHM!

It Takes a Village to Fight the Democratic Machine

Last week, my husband and I attended several political events as March 2014 brings a new election cycle.  The first event was very nice.  It was held in a refurbished bank with ornate ceilings, marble floors, a great spread of Italian food, and an open bar.  We went to support an Asian American friend of ours who hosted the event and because several Asian Americans running for office were present and we want to support their campaigns.  Several prominent political figures (none of whom are Asian) spoke at the event and highlighted what is blindingly obvious -- that at a political event featuring Asian Americans, there is not a single Asian American to speak of in either the Illinois House or Senate.  WTF?????!!!!!  How can a whole population of people be not simply under-represented, but completely UN-represented???  Fear not, the Asian community is throwing hats in the ring (both of whom are female may I add!).  You go girls, and as you go, we are here to introduce you to people with both power AND money.  Ka-ching!  Here are a few photos from that event:

The beautiful venue

The hubby (on the right) getting "chatted up."  Note, not a good idea to
cross one's arms when talking politics.  It gives a sense of mistrust. A no-no.




From this event, we headed to another political event, though the two could not be more dissimilar.  My husband and I support our local candidate for State Representative, Will Guzzardi, running in the March primary against the democratic machine-backed, Toni Berrios.  I know Ms. Berrios as I worked for the Speaker of the Illinois House a while back.  So, I can say with full faith that Ms. Berrios is an absolute HACK.  She is the physical embodiment of everything that is wrong with Illinois politics.  Her father, democratic powerhouse Joe Berrios, is known not only to employ his relatives, but also known to direct democratic-machine money and manpower to his relatives' campaigns.  And what do you know, undoubtedly they win!  But, that is not the worst of it (you know - winning without having to campaign or raise your own money). The worst of it is... she does NOTHING to earn her salary.  The woman is there to party with her Latino mates and, every now and then, stand up on the floor and read from a sheet of paper prepared by "handlers."  I know this because I witnessed it.  I am fairly certain that Ms. Berrios does not know how a bill becomes a law and very well may not be able to properly pronounce the term "legislation."  That is just the tip of the iceberg.  So, Mr. Guzzardi fights a VERY steep uphill battle in trying to unseat the VERY large-seated, Ms. Berrios.  Enough of that, though.  In contrast to the earlier political event, Mr. Guzzardi's campaign headquarters is sparsely furnished and plastered with heavily markered poster signs.  The food was homemade by constituents (such as meatballs on paper plates and cheese cut up into uneven pieces).  The wine was pour-it-yourself.  The beer was donated by neighbors.  It was grassroots!  And it was great!  Wonderful energy!  Crazy zealous constituents! Not a single prominent politician in sight!  It felt like a campaign should - by the people and for the people.  Here are a few pictures from the event:

We ended our night stepping out into a wonderful Fall rain.  It felt good to know we support causes and people we believe in, even on the rainiest of evenings.  Until next time, SAHM.

The Search for the Best Cuban Sandwich

Today I had lunch with my friend, Maureen, at 90 Miles Cuban Café.  This is a great place right in my hood.  It has a superb patio and a "bring your own rum for mojitos" policy that can get a little crazy. Today, I ordered "The Cubano," which is a classic Cuban sandwich served on pressed French bread with ham, roast pork, swiss cheese, pickles, and yellow mustard.  Here is their version:

It was delicious, but it left me wanting for a little more flavor.  I wasn't gonna send it back or anything - I mean a girl has to eat.  Next time though, I will probably go for one of the steak chimichurri dinners.  I also ordered an empanada because if a Cuban place can't make a good empanada, walk out.  I got the "Ropa Vieja," which is shredded beef, peppers, and onions slow cooked in a creole sauce with some sort of green yumminess served on the side.  Here it is:

It was THE BEST empanada I have ever had!!!!  Oh my goodness, you must try it before you die.  It is THAT good. So folks, in search of the best sandwich, I found the best empanada.  I'll take it!  Until next time, SAHM.

Biggie the Big Baby

So, this is Biggie, the dog.  He was rescued by my friend, Maureen (see above), from some gangbangers that left him out in the pouring rain with no shelter.  Isn't he a fantastic dog??!!!!!  And he is the biggest baby of a pooch you will ever meet.  Today I helped (and by help I mean watched) bathe Biggie because tomorrow he is headed to his new forever home.  I like days like today because I get a glimpse of the softer side of humanity - folks coming together to rescue and place a dog most people would have nothing to do with both because of his size and his history.  Big kisses to you, Biggie, and may life grant you endless days of bone chewing, genital licking, and lots of giant poops!  Until next time, SAHM. 

Fashion Does Not Have to Die Once Offspring Arrive

I know that it is hard to keep up with fashion trends whilst busy cleaning baby vomit from the sweatpants you haven't changed in three days, so that is where I come in.  Call it a hobby of mine or maybe just a waste of time, but I like to troll the fashion magazines for cute, wearable, and yes, fashionable ensembles.  I cut out what I like and head to say Marshalls or Nordstrom Rack (insert your favorite discount store) to copy the look.  Don't think for yourselves, ladies!!!  Just copy copy copy - at affordable prices!  Here are a few of my latest finds (I can't figure out how to crop yet so forgive the messy edges).


            I love everything about this outfit, especially the color blocking of the shoes and the bright pink bag.  The jeans hit just where they should on the ankle, and when matched with a cool toned sweater and what looks like a moto jacket (?), the look is chic and hip at the same time.  The sunglasses and necklace add an edge of femininity and class (i.e. items you should NOT scrimp on). 



            I love everything about Zoe Saldana's style.  She always looks both put together and fun - like a girl you want to hang with.  This dress is totally NOW in color and style (hits just below knee).  The black jacket/blazer brings the outfit from day- to night-wear and the shoes add an urban flair.  I normally don't like matchy matchy bags, but Zoe pulls the bright pink off without a hitch. 

               Miranda Kerr also has excellent fashion sense.  Not to mention that rockin' Victoria Secret body.  Not jealous at all......nope.  Anyways, what I love about this outfit is the pairing of the oversized pink and black scarf with the edgy black moto jacket.  Dark fitted jeans are a must as are a pair of black ANKLE booties.  Yes, ankle ladies. Ankle is where it is at this Fall.  The only thing I don't like about the ensemble is the bag - and I really don't like it.



              This is some random person who has a great casual day look goin' on.  Animal faces are everywhere this season but to me they can sometimes look, well, juvenile.  This lady layers a chambray shirt underneath and a tailored khaki jacket overtop, pairs it with very hip leopard print heels and voila (accent over the "a") - a classy yet casual take on several of this season's hippest trends.

            Zoe Saldana, again.  I know, I have a little bit of a girl crush going on.  It's harmless - I think.  Although I don't much care for her look labeled "glam," I can appreciate it for good style (just not my taste).  Kinda like when my husband tells me that Metallica is a really good band and I wince at the sound of one of their songs - I trust his taste, but it's just not my own.  The other two looks are great.  Love the black leather pants (leather is also a MUST this Fall) and the hair pulled back with bright red lipstick gives her a girl gone bad vibe.  Ladies, boys love this vibe.  You will get laid if you correctly execute this vibe.  The "polished" look is sweet and sophisticated. The belt calms down the somewhat busy dress and the cap sleeves are adorable. 



Enough for now.  Have fun shopping!  Until next time, SAHM.

Bulgogi, Kal(r)bi, and Other Korean Delicacies From a White Girl's Perspective

I am White, oh - and female, in case you can't tell by the photo on the title page.  And my hubby is Korean, which you should be able to tell by the photo because his Korean buddies say that if you looked up the phrase "Korean dude" in some non-existant dictionary, up would pop a picture of my husband - THAT is how Korean he looks.  So, one of my favorite things my husband introduced me to is Korean food.  It is an acquired taste, I must say - especially the ultra sour and very stinky cabbage known as kimchi.  Sure clears out your system, though.  So, if you are looking for hearty, authentic, affordable Korean food, look no further than The Chicago Food Corp.  ( www.joongboomarket.com ).  There are several locations.  I frequent the one at 3333 N. Kimball.  First of all, let's talk about the market.  Produce is fresh and cheap, ramen noodles of sooooooo many varieties, crazy selection of seafood (fresh and frozen), udon noodles, rice cakes, potstickers, kimchi, premarinated meat (both bulgogi and kalbi), and every kind of green tea you can imagine.  Second, let's chat about the tiny café inside of the market.  Shhhhhhh......it's a hidden gem.........don't let word get out or you will have to wait hours for their fantastic bim bim bap, the piping hot soon doon boo, and the spicy yu gae jang.  Those are just three of the twenty-two dishes offered.  Let your mouth begin to water with this preview.

Bim bim bap (egg, rice, and vegetables - before mixing)

Yu gae jang (spicy beef soup)



Don't forget to purchase from the café some to-go chop chae or kim bop (pictured below).

 

My goal is to try EVERY SINGLE item on the menu and write a quick review.  We shall see how the oxtail and blood sausage soup goes down......errrr...... stays down.  Until next time, SAHM (I like this sign off because, if you don't know what SAHM means, it kind of sounds like "Namaste," which is a way over-and-improperly-used yoga thing.  But it still sounds cool  - even if people have no idea what they are talking about).

The Offspring

So, here they are.  This is the one and only time I will post a photo of my lovely children, Joshua and Juliet.  I think the world of them, but sometimes Mommies need a break from the constant demand (I mean reward....) of parenting. And this blog is just that for me -- time to do and see and think and write about anything and everything that has NOTHING to do with being a SAHM (that is a stay-at-home mom). So, off we go to see movies, eat food, talk fashion, travel, read books, and traverse the great city of Chicago!