As I traipse through this jungle of a world called motherhood, there are certain things I have catalogued along the way that I want to write about. One is what I call the "Mean Mom Phenomenon." What is that, you ask? It is a disturbing trend that I have witnessed across all income brackets, all ethnicities, and women of varying mental health statuses. It is women who exhibit mean behavior, both outward and passive aggressively, especially in relation to their husbands/partners, other moms, and other mom's children.
 |
| Remember this movie? |
For example, when I get together with other women for a fun girls' night out, the last thing I want to hear is you bitching about your sucky ass husband and what a sucky ass job he is doing at (insert your own experience here) providing for the family, parenting, house chores, etc., etc., etc. Even worse is when these women say these things IN FRONT of their children. I mean, what are they thinking? That this is a good parenting technique? That the children should learn sooner rather than later that men, including and most importantly their own father, SUCK?!!!! WTF!!!!! It is not cool to bash the kids' father! NOT COOL. If you don't have anything nice to say about the man YOU CHOSE to procreate with, then refrain refrain refrain. Grow up. The children need to know that you and their father are a united front in raising them. Not that it is you and the children against him. I want to ask these women, "Have you not matured from the mean girl you once were in high school?" Mean girls create clicks where you are either in or you are out. And mean girls talk shit about EVERYONE! So, you better be "in" with the mean girl or, watch out, you WILL suffer her wrath! In the mean mom scenario, the father becomes the "out" click and the mean mom pits herself and the children against him. And these women wonder why their husbands leave them.........
Another example of the mean mom phenomenon is when a mean mom gathers a group of unassuming mothers, let's say at the playground, and starts a monologue about a child or children (of a mother who is not present) that she deems unacceptable. The reason for the singling out is not important. Rather, it is the mean mom's need to, once again, shit talk. But this time it is an innocent child she has chosen as her victim, and of course, the other victim is the mother of the child that has miserably failed at her job of parenting. According to mean mom anyway. The purpose of this behavior, I have deduced, is to passive aggressively bolster the mean mom's own parenting by dichotemizing the singled out child's "bad behavior" from her own children's "good behavior." Thus, convincing all in her kingdom that she is TOP MOM and everyone should listen to her and worship her. Can you say, narcissism?
So, my point, you ask? I guess it is to give other moms a heads up. When you hear or see this behavior, move far away. FAR AWAY. Have nothing to do with this woman. You can be polite, of course. But, don't let her into your life.
The thing that is so crazy is that, in high school, the mean girl really isn't liked, she is feared. She thinks she is popular, but really she isn't. Maybe that is the case with mean moms, too. Feared by their husbands and feared by their children. Anyways, bottom line is parenting is tough stuff. Moms need each other. We need to be able to be real and talk about our challenges and our fears and, yes, our failures. We don't need to waste our precious time and energy on husband bashing, shit talking, and making ourselves seem as though we are the perfect parent.
Until next time, SAHM!
No comments:
Post a Comment