So, after a long hiatus from blogging, I have decided to return with a topic that continues to mystify me - why some women absolutely refuse to apologize. Won't do it. Won't do it. And don't bother waiting for it if you are on the receiving end. It ain't happening.
Why, why, why do I trouble my mind with such quibbles. I guess, recently, life hasn't let me turn away from the question. I MUST face it. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! Frankly, I can't stand some of this female bullshit. Anyways, without adieu, into the abyss I go......
Without naming names, in the last several years, a few women from my past have reached out to me, perhaps, to reconnect? Naively, that is what I assumed. Both of these women had done several things to really hurt my feelings - I mean, they could have won awards for their atrocious behaviors - and both of them had stopped talking to me many many moons ago. I moved on. I let go of the friendship and any hope of actually receiving an apology for their hurtful actions. I assumed that, as Maya Angelou espouses, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." These women had shown me their true colors - that they were selfish and narcissistic, unable to take responsibility for their own behavior, and believing they were above reproach. Who needs a friend like that? There are so many other fish in the sea. And I have never had trouble making friends. So, I moved on and really forgot much, if not all, about them.
Then, as a result of my parents appearing on several news outlets, some folks from my past reached out to me to say, "Wow!" Sparing you the conversational details, neither of the women offered any sort of apology - for their past behavior, for their ending the friendship without explanation, or even (as I call it, the weanie apology because it allows someone to apologize without REALLY apologizing) for hurting my feelings (i.e. "I am so sorry for making you feel that way. It really wasn't my intention at all. Blah blah blah."). They both spoke to me as if nothing had transpired and that our friendship should just pick up where it had abruptly left off. WTF??? Are you f-ing kidding me??? Why in the world would I choose to be friends with you...AGAIN??!! And how dare they contact me and expect me to just "take it" - to take their lack of remorse; hell their complete lack of acknowledgment. What kind of people do this? Oh, that's right, the narcissistic and selfish kind. Been there, done that. Don't need that in my life. Moving on, once again. Only this time, I said my piece. I gave them an opportunity to explain themselves and to have an honest conversation about what happened. (In my head, "I mean, I did hear about your wedding and realized that my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, right?" Weddings are overrated, anyways.) Back to the topic at hand. As expected, neither of the women responded in the way that a friend would. They became both defensive and dismissive within the same breath. And, of course, neither apologized - not even the weanie apology.
Moving on, moving on. A mantra in my life. A therapist once told me that the more people you choose to know, the more loss you will feel. And, I did feel great loss with these friendships. But I don't regret having them. My heart is at peace with that loss. I use what I have learned to be a "better picker," as an old friend once said. And with that, a big, heartfelt thank you to all of my goddess lady friends who lift me up and hold me high! I love you and thank you for coming into my life!
JUST A FEW OF MANY AWESOME WOMEN IN MY LIFE!
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| Me and my gal pal, Kara, at a Bulls game! |
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| Me and my gal pal, Nikki, on a sunny Chicago day! |
Yes!!!
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